A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.” (more…)
On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
So God agreed. (more…)
An atheist was walking through the woods.
What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!
He said to himself. (more…)
(Here’s something that made me smile. This email made the rounds some time ago and, as usual, the author is not indicated in the email…will be more than glad to acknowledge authorship if someone steps up.) (more…)
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to know in months. “27 Months.” “He’s two,” will do just fine. He’s not a piece of cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version of looting. (more…)
Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit Ginintuang butil ng payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang:
Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE — “Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay.”
Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay — “Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!”
Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC — “Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko.”
At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC — “Kapag ikaw ay nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang magisa ang manonood ng sine.” (more…)
