Marriage is complicated. It’s never easy, with so many issues cropping up at the most unexpected moments. Some issues in a marriage could spell the difference between “living happily ever after” and going separate ways. These issues include spending too much time with the barkada, spending too much time at work and, yes, choosing your baby’s name.
Decide on the name even way before the expected delivery date. Well, I haven’t heard of anyone breaking up because of arguments arising from choosing a name, but arguments do arise because of this matter. It gets complicated when the in-laws get involved, and they do get involved sometimes. This is the reason why it’s important to select the name even way before the expected delivery date (so they won’t have any say). There are decisions, like whether to have a son circumcised upon birth, that must be carefully thought out. Changing the first name later on is not a piece of cake. It requires time and money, things that you would want to use for more productive endeavors.
Put yourself in your child’s shoes. We Pinoys could be creative when it comes to names, as Matthew Sutherland noted. Think, however, if the name you’re about to give to your child would be something he or she would later seek to be judicially changed. Ok, we parents have the right to name our children, but there’s nothing wrong to consider the impact of the name on your children who, after all, are to live with their names all their lives.
Check sources of names. My brother and his wife thought of their firstborn’s name only after birth, so everyone in the room was consulted. Considering that his firstborn is the first grandson in both sides, you could just imagine who were in the hospital room. There were many suggestieons, but mine got carried — Louis Benedict. Louis, in honor of our most favorite auntie, Tita Lou, who died of cancer. Benedict, because it sounds good with Louis and for no apparent reason (but I would like to believe it’s a tribute to the soon-to-be Pope Benedict). There are other sources of names: suggestions from friends, names of predecessors, names of great people and names in mythology. You could even consult many websites on baby names (like here or here). You could also agree on a negative list, like a “Jr.,” which I don’t want to see in the name of my kids.
But wait until after you know the baby’s gender. There was no problem during the first trimester of my wife’s pregnancy, I mean, with respect to the process of selecting the name of the baby. We still didn’t know the gender of the baby, so it was anyone’s guess. I wanted a boy. She wanted a girl. I don’t know what happened to my preference for a boy, but our discussions centered around a girl’s name. I guess it’s just one of those mind games women use on us men, just like when they captured us the first time.
In case of doubt, defer to your wife’s choice. Anyway, going back, there was not much debate on a baby girl’s name. We agreed on “Julia”. If you ask me, I don’t know why I like the name Julia. No, it’s not what you think, I didn’t have an ex named Julia. I never had a crush on Julia Roberts. I don’t know, Julia just sounded perfect. My wife said so. I didn’t want to argue.
While the name may be perfect, there were two complications. One, we loved the name Julia so much we named our car “Julia,” so we had to drop the name. Would you name your baby after your car? Two, we later named that our baby is a boy. Back to square one.
Some say choosing the baby’s name is a battle between the spouses. It’s not. It’s about discussion and compromise. Find a middle ground. Enjoy your baby’s grow in your partner’s womb.
It hard to find the perfect name that everybody love. I dont think it possible.
Baby name….why call it a battle between the sexes? Looking for the name should not be a problem. There are more important matters that shoul dbe discussed by husband & wife.
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